Faith, Not by Sight
by Jevvica
Summary: Callen gets a visitor in the aftermath of Sans Voir Parts 1 & 2.


Author's Notes: I haven't written in ages, but I'm so tired of not being able to find good Sam and G stories. Beware of spoilers for Sans Voir Parts 1 & 2. I own very little and absolutely nothing related to NCIS:LA.

_Sans Voir_ is blindfold chess, but it literally means "without seeing".

2 Corinthians 5:7 – for we walk by faith, not by sight.

Callen didn't know how long he'd been sitting in the LAPD interrogation room. It felt like minutes, but it was probably closer to hours. Time had stopping meaning much to him since he had shot the Chameleon. After the police had taken custody of him, the days had been a blur of questions and waiting, waiting and questions. Someone had sent a lawyer, but G was barely cooperative. He didn't see a way out of this, but he wasn't really looking. He wasn't sorry.

When the door of the room opened at last, Callen's protest of more legal dancing died on his lips when he saw the tall agent who entered the room.

"Nate."

"G."

"Are you here to shrink-wrap me? Help them make their case?"

"They don't need any help in making their case Callen. You shot an unarmed man on live television in front of the Los Angeles Police Department." Nate's voice was even and clinical, even as he reached up and unplugged the room's security camera.

"So what are you doing here?"

"I want to understand why you did it."

"That's a bullshit psychologist answer, Nate. Do better."

"Fine. You have really screwed yourself here. You can never be an undercover agent again. Your face was all over the news, the papers, YouTube. Hetty wants to understand. Your team needs to understand how you could do this."

"My team knows why. So does Hetty, she doesn't need to hear me say it." Callen's blue eyes held Nate's without wavering. Without question. Nate took a seat across from Callen and leaned back in the chair.

"You know, I never was very good at reading you. You are a consummate undercover agent and you never show more than you mean to. You were so good at being anyone; you almost seemed to be everyone." Nate smiled bitterly. "I used to think that if I could figure you out, I could profile anyone. I'd mostly given up on that. Until yesterday. Yesterday, Sam briefed me on the entire Chameleon situation. He gave me everything, all the reports, the recordings of the communications feeds, everything."

"And now you've got me all figured out?" asked Callen wryly.

"I won't pretend to know everything," answered Nate, "but I know why you killed the Chameleon and I know when you decided to do it."

"Enlighten me," said Callen.

"He killed Renko and Hunter. He came after your allies. That bomb in the warehouse could have killed your team. It almost killed your partner."

"Well, you've got me. The whole mystery revealed so succinctly. Well done, Agent Getz."

"You know what Sam said to me?" continued Nate, as though Callen had not spoken. "He said we don't kill for revenge. G wouldn't do that. He wouldn't give up everything to avenge the deaths of agents doing their job."

"They weren't just doing their jobs, were they?" spit Callen. "They were specifically targeted to get at me. The Chameleon said he knew who I cared about. He said he would kill the people important to me. If we'd let him go, if I'd let him walk…" Callen rubbed his head, suddenly weary. "He would have come back and targeted Hetty or my team. He would have killed-"

"Sam." Callen lifted his head to meet Nate's dark eyes.

"No one is an acceptable loss."

"No. But Sam is different." For a long moment silence filled the small room, thick and heavy.

"One of the times we were so close," began Callen slowly, his gaze firmly on the table in front of him, "so close to finding out about my past, finding out my name and it slipped away and I was just so…lost. And Sam looked at me and said I don't need to know your name to know who you are, G. It was just that simple for him. It always was. 'G' never sounded strange coming from him, he never stumbled over the single letter. He didn't hesitate to make me a part of his family, to force me to grow some roots, no matter how I fought him.

I was an incredible operative. The best they'd seen in a long time. But I didn't play well with others, I wasn't an asset to any team and I didn't trust anyone. And they gave me to this over-grown mama bear of a SEAL who didn't know how to not work with a team, who refused to let me run off half cocked. He taught me how to work like a partner, how to have faith in another person. I went from a good operative to a good agent and it was because of Sam. So yeah, Sam's different. He's my best friend, hell, he might be the only real friend I've ever had. I wasn't going to chance the Chameleon coming back to finish his little chess game. I couldn't."

Nate sat and looked at Callen for a long moment before he spoke.

"I know. I told you Sam gave me all the footage, I watched it all play out. Knowing how it would all end was an advantage, but I knew the moment you decided to kill the Chameleon. Maybe it felt like a split second decision to you that day in the park, but it wasn't. It was while you watched the feed of that warehouse burning and smoking after it exploded." Nate watched Callen's jaw tighten. "It was when you stood helpless in the boathouse and listened to Kensi call Sam's name over and over. It was in that moment, that moment when you believed Sam was dead, that you decided the Chameleon would never walk free."

"Why are you here Nate?" Callen's voice was low and hard.

"We wanted to hear it from you. Why you did it. Why you'd risk everything. And to let you know that we're going to do everything we possibly can to get you out of here."

"We?" Nate glanced toward the mirror in the room.

"Did you honestly think anyone could have kept him away?" Callen's face was frustratingly unreadable to Nate, but the psychologist had a feeling that Sam Hanna was having no trouble picking up everything his partner was telegraphing through the two-way glass.

"You're wrong," said Callen, halting Nate in his move to leave. "You're wrong about when I decided."

"Oh?"

"It was before. When I was talking to the Chameleon, he said sometimes in chess you have to sacrifice a piece to win the advantage. He was right. He just didn't know I'd be willing to sacrifice myself in order to protect the rest of my board. And that having a team I trust to have my back will always be an advantage."

"I hope you made the right move."

"I know I did." Callen's lips quirked into a half smile as he regarded the psychologist. "And you still haven't learned how to profile me. Keep trying, though." Nate couldn't help the short bark of laughter, feeling young and inexperienced and like a new member of the team all over again.

"I'll be seeing you, Agent Callen."

"You certainly will, Agent Getz."

Callen's eyes went back to the mirror and the man he couldn't see, but faith told him was standing on the other side.


End file.
